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15 Minutes of Focus- Motivation

My 15 minute brain dumps daily- a process I’m adopting after talking to Patricia of Lawless Coach.  15 minutes of focus daily can do wonders.  Enjoy mine. :)

Motivation is Everything

Ain’t it so?  I love being a strong, empowered female.  It feels damn good to be in charge of your life.

angelina_jolie_site

I get asked quite a bit why I’m so motivated.

Well… to keep a story short, I’ll just write a little thank you letter to someone that was once in my life. :)

Thank You.

Dear X,

I never thought I’d be so strong.

This morning, I was reflecting on the time we spent together.  All I wanted you to do was hold me, care for me.  But you couldn’t do that, could you?  At least, not until after you were done hitting me for the night.

I remember trying to keep the wounds open so you would heal them.  With love, I was hoping.  But in the end, it was just pain with you.

The daily fights, the daily abuse, your strong hands around my neck.  I loved those strong hands.

Injured woman leaning sadly on wooden wall

I wanted to be weak in your arms.  I was weak in your arms, but not like that.  It wasn’t how I ever imagined.

And now look at me.  I’m amazing.  And I must give small thanks to you.

I thank you for forcing me to be strong.  For giving me no other option than to get out and make it in the world alone.

Now look at me.  Aren’t you proud that you helped create me?

I love my life.  I live every day as a symbol of empowerment, thankful and grateful to have escaped from your strong hands, those strong hands I expected to care and comfort me.  Thankful that I can empower amazing women around me.  Thankful I didn’t skip out of life and live under your angry strength.

The leaves are falling around me.  The autumn rain has arrived.  The weather reminds me of us falling in love.  Those passionate moments I could not leave your side.  That desperation of needing to be together- the desperation that turned to hurt and pain.  But look at me now.

GOOD LORD I am thankful. Thankful for the lesson you taught me.  That I can handle anything in this world.

If I was able to get through 2 years of your abuse and isolation, I can do anything.  Truly, anything.

So thank you again.  I don’t really care where you are, but I do care that I’m okay.  Fantastic, actually. :)

Signed with gratefulness,

A Survivor.

Your Motivation is your Strength

It’s been 7 years since I fell in love with that man.

It’s been 5 years since I’ve escaped.

It’s been 4 years since I’ve normalized (you can imagine how situations like these fuck you up just a bit).

It’s every day that I’m grateful.

I keep the reason I am empowered and motivated close to me, just as I believe you should keep anything that motivates you close to you.

It is in the darkest moments of life you find the light.  I keep the moments of happiness, of freedom close.

It is the reason I’m grateful for everything.

What motivates you?  Don’t ever forget those moments.  Be thankful for them.  Be thankful for the trials the world has put you through.  For it is in those moments, those breaking points, you realize what you’re truly capable of.

xxoo,

Tracy @ladyleet